I think every person involved in making cider for long enough ends up like that 😆.

For keeving you need fruit from old trees as it's lower in nitrogen.

 If you haven't got old trees you can play around with my seemingly still novel cider making method as it will be a few years till I can afford an orchard.
      It's basically carbonic maceration a technique from winemaking. You get a clean tank fill it full of fruit, perry pears are best but you can use apples too but you will still need to press them. Then you fill the tank with C02 and leave it for months.  Siphon any juice off and press any solid material that remains. The fermented juice tastes different in a interesting fizzy way has more colour and greater aroma. It's also useful to do if you get a bumper year and you dont get the time to press everything all at once.