one doesn't owe loyalty to anyone as if it is a debt that can be paid off.  

loyalty and duty stem not from the quality of the other person but from their nature

actions based in loyalty and duty must be consistent with the nature of the relationship, not your feelings.  

you have a deeply embedded sense of entitlement bro.  killing it will kill your self, that is, i think you're too old to change. you can't even evaluate yourself from a 3rd or 4th party perspective.