I'm not quite there to run my own relay (but would love to in the future). Bookmarked your relay setup remark for future reference.
Currently, I try to figure out how Nostr works through the eyes of a 'normal user'. 
And then peek behind the curtains as a new dev, just to gain some more understanding.
I now added to my list to look into the outbox model that you mention, and see what it entails.
It's an exciting learning journey. 

I'm just not ready yet to onboard my friends and family, while I still struggle to get a hold of the how and what myself ;)