Bobby : I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee and wheat toast.

Waitress : [points at his menu]  No substitutions.

Bobby : What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?

Waitress : Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two, a plain omelette, it comes with cottage fries and rolls.

Bobby : Yeah, I know what it comes with, but it's not what I want.

Waitress : Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind

Bobby : Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.

Waitress : I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast. I'll give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.

Bobby : What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?

Waitress : Would you like to talk to the manager?

Palm Apodaca : Hey, mac...

Bobby : Shut up.

[to the waitress] 

Bobby : You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?

Waitress : I don't make the rules.

Bobby : OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce, and a cup of coffee.

Waitress : A number two, a chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, and the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?

Bobby : Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a cheque for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.