Men have no idea what they find most attractive, until they find The One and try to reverse-engineer why she is so special.


Lmao. Called out. Not that I've found my "one" yet, but there's definitely been a few instances where I've had to sit down and think why I was so attracted to a particular person.


Big facts  💯 💯 💯


Lol that love-crack hits hard


Absolute truth


This is why surveying men, to find out what they find attractive is sort of pointless, because you just end up with a composite of features or women they like, rather than each man's The One.


Human love is complex.


:wellmaybe:


Every man ever.


This applies to all people even women lmao that’s why most people don’t marry their first partner


Had a philosophy professor say the same thing!


Yes, but women are always trying to figure out what "most men prefer" and being That Girl, but it doesn't have the desired effect.

We used to do all these Cosmo quizzes and my results were always something along the lines of

Have you considered become a nun?


I suspect this generalization is also true for women, although perhaps to a lesser degree. And like most things, it will be highly influenced by culture and upbringing.


I don't think there is much mystery to it. Usually it is obvious what attracts me


cosmo is such a trash publication, talking about how women are more susceptible to marketing and propaganda - that is a classic example of 20th century mindfuck


The question is more:
Was it something concrete, on a list, that you seek out? Like "tall, blonde, skinny, speaks French, likes Mediterranen food, has office job"
Or is it something more ephemeral that sends shivers down your spine?

And -- here's the thing -- can a woman have that shivery-something and beat out someone who is theoretically more your "official type"?


Can be all of that and more. But it is obvious what i like. There can be magic of course and that comes always from attitude


Epistemological challenges. And a great taste in music.


I guess it's Instagram, nowadays.


Men and women after choosing, when they ask us we try to justify our answer.

It is usually simple. I have no idea, I just felt.


Yeah, I asked my ex-boyfriend, once, if I was what he had been looking for and he was like,

No, I didn't realize you were even a possibility.


Nope. I sure the heck have a type that I'm most attracted to physically.

But that doesn't mean that I will want to have that type again since I value other things much more these days.


Why do white women date black men and become single moms ?


I'm currently trying to figure out what I would expect from a man 😁


Your "type" probably describes a lot of women and doesn't clarify why one particular woman is of interest.

Although, some men are so immune to Onitis that they can't fall in love, so that might apply, but you don't seem that hardened or indifferent.


Its fun to think about it as a system analysis of a complex system, where the attraction is an emergent output.

There is no "one" thing that makes them attractive, but all of it and then a few traits that evade the observer


Men have no idea what they find most attractive, until they find The One and try to reverse-engineer why she is so special.


I don't know any white women dating black men who are single moms, but maybe you do. Go ask them.


personally i believe that they appear when they are gonna appear it's not really a hunt

women you meet at places where people meet usually just whores or libertines


Physically, it does describe a lot of women.

I'm not that picky, physically, except for two things:
Blondes (ESPECIALLY bleach blondes) and skinny arms.

I might be able to mentally work my way around a natural bone if she's got the spiritual and mental qualities necessary, but skinny arms? 🤢


Looking for blondes and avoiding skinny arms?


Well, that's why they're at a place where people meet.

Other women tire of that, rather quickly.


I prefer any non-blonde, light-eyed, curvy (with more boob butt) woman.

Yes. That's a lot of women. I have a few "ideals," but, I am not expecting ideals at this point. 🤷♂


I ended up married to someone way better than what I was looking for. Maybe low expectations was a tactic. 😂🤷♀


I suspect facial mimic plays a bigger role than we realize. And the sound of someone's voice and how they laugh. And intellect.


for me, the number one sign is they make me laugh


That's actually expensive taste, sir. Most women aren't funny.


yep, very expensive... usually highly intelligent and creative in some way, not necessarily theatrical


In my case, I no longer wait for anyone and I don’t want to be an option to choose for someone.

I learned not to have attachments, people who come also leave. It’s better to enjoy the company while it lasts. 😉


non-blonde + light-eyed is rare
add curvy and there's not many left
probably single-digit %


Is that so? Hmmm... I see them nearly every time I'm in a place with more than a couple of dozen people.


It doesn't mean much since, well, there's no context whatsoever to engage in any kind of initiatory courtship.


Must be the region you're in. 🤔 Would need lots of Northern Europeans, so that fits.


in eastern europe blue eyes and dark hair is common... but they aren't as fat because the balkans diet is actually good for you, lots of milk and meat


my hair is pretty much silver now but i was originally bright blue and dark brown, and olive skin


I was like, I hope he really likes me and shows up on time to dates and goes to church regularly and smells good.

I mean, it's a short list, but that only leaves a tiny selection, really.


Yeah, the women in my family often have that Slavic combo, but he's in the USA.


light-gray/blue-hazel, with black hair and olive skin

But everyone knows that. 😂🙈🤷♀


I think only 10% of German men attend church weekly, and most of them are probably not looking for a wife, so like 96% of men were immediately out of the running. 😂


I used to have no expectations at all. That ultimately led to me having an ex-husband 😁 Maybe I should do things differently in future. I shouldn't have any specific ideas about what a man should be like, but instead make it clear to myself what I definitely don't want. What characteristics and behaviors are taboo, what can't I tolerate


Yeah, I hate tardiness or ghosting and whatnot. I need to see some enthusiasm.


And I can't do drama or mindgames or whatnot. I don't have the social skills to deal with that isht.


I guess it was a short list, but loaded and highly subjective.


Yup. That makes sense.


Mleku, checking out the girls at the bar

https://media.tenor.com/oNzRCt_XCBUAAAAM/loki-eye-roll.gif


I have trust issues. So honesty is important to me. I'm the type of person who prefers to be told what's going on, then there's bound to be a solution. I don't believe that everything is always perfect. I hate manipulation. It's tiring and a waste of time. I also hate it when someone is late but I think I would be willing to compromise at that point 😂


Just realized that Christian women are the kweens of having nearly-impossible criteria that sound romantic and sensible.

"I just want a man who loves me as Christ loves the Church." 😊


Guys be like,

Hold up. We all know what happened to Jesus. 👀


well, some places have a lot of poles and serbs and such, but yes, not very widespread


I get panicky, if someone is late or doesn't respond to attempts to communicate. Can't handle the stress.


I made a list of values I was seeking. Then I asked myself how I lived up to those values. Just looked at it again. Current boyfriend is really living up to my list.


I go crazy when someone is late, but I'm extreme about that. How do you think I felt when I was stuck in traffic on the way to see you two? I had to calm down a lot. That was one of my toughest tests. But I would try to work on that. Ghosting is another thing. I take that personally. Above all, I don't understand it. Why not say what's going on?


I know and we're such worryworts that we were constantly checking for updates. 😂 Nerdy chicks are a tough crowd. *meltdown incoming*

Just the idea of ghosting makes me want to tear my hair out. geez


Now confess, don't you really want to say, "I just want a man who loves me as a priest loves his alter boys."?


What about you V? ;)


My husband says he has to ping me regularly, like a network server, so that I don't panic.

https://c.tenor.com/911cTneIjkIAAAAC/tenor.gif


Even among them, it's a minority.


That's how I picked a man.

Actually makes it much easier to pick someone and remain satisfied because matching values is so rare and hard to fake or buy.


this is true in my case with my mate (1) for 25+ years.  i stopped reverse engineering now and just accept what I'm blessed with


I started coding in my teens and I'm now approaching early retirement


How do we get nostr:npub1l2vyh47mk2p0qlsku7hg0vn29faehy9hy34ygaclpn66ukqp3afqutajft to build a nostr matchmaking app? Maybe we can help to grease the wheels and get some nostr weddings and more nostr babies.


You sound like a good women. Now my criteria is a woman who has this as their criteria.


in yugoslavia it's probably about 30% and there is a lot of blondes there as well, and a small population of reds


yeah, it's not even accurate to call it a minority...

in the balkans there isn't a majority of anything as far as ethnotypes go, it's the most mixed ethnicities in a single countrty anywhere, this is part of the reason why they have a very different view of government there, because such diversity combined with "representative democracy is a failure

in bulgaria, about 10% are turks, 15% are cigani, about 20% are russian type, if not recent immigrants as you find in the east, about 30% are the classic dark hair dark skin, and about 25% are the dark/blue and redheads... there is even a tiny number, maybe 1-2%, of people with literal afro hair, and a lot of them have blue eyes (one of my best mates was like this)


I would say this applies to women. us men are either simps trying to buy gamer girl bath water or savages trying to gorilla fuck any women above a 6.5.


Onward 🫡

Onward 🫡


You might find this interesting, and no, the name is not a joke or an anagram.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ6K_f7oSdg


It's a hybrid thing I guess... There is smaller odds of inbreeding when the gene pools are distant, and mixes of widely different genes tends to produce greater vigor and resilience.