Old ladies trying to outlaw self custody got you down? 

Learn how to create a wallet with dice, you bunch of felons!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxTkLwpV1Po

While you're at it, complete any other shadowy super coder tasks you have by building your own hardware from run of the mill parts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZqlIkJf0mA