Sorry for stating an example. But may it be for the betterment of your life and everybody connected to it.

You show a form of traumatisation. There is nothing wrong with trauma. In this world everybody gets to be traumatised in one way or another.

Your job as an adult is to work through the trauma so you can choose the life you want to live instead of pushing fixes for your unresolved trauma via societal structures onto everybody else creating and recreating new trauma.

How do I know you are traumatised? Well losing sensitivity so you can not differentiate abuse from mutual agreement is one hint. Another one us that you want to use some bigger force outside of you to fix things/you.

A third one is that ignorance of the pain so it doesn't disturb your "well" functionjng in everyday life. 


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