I was pursuaded away from umbrel for a wife variety of reasons. I'm sure that between me and a couple others we could get your stuff up and running. I would seriously recommend proxmox as a base setup for a VM server. It's a bit more fiddly to set up, but... You can do pretty much anything with it that's outside of what startOS is currently limited to doing. (but startOS does it very well, and I prefer that.)