My Nostr client ratings, straight from the heart (and maybe a little too much caffeine):

Coracle: The gold standard... almost. Gorgeous, polished, supports everything. Chat, nip-44, you name it. But the Android app? It's like a rusting, barnacle-encrusted galleon compared to the sleek, new, shiny spaceship that is the iOS version. And no database export? Come on, Coracle, you're better than that. You're supposed to be the best!

Nostrudel: The techie's dream. Finally, a client that understands what "neat little tools" actually means. Emoji reactions? chef's kiss. Problem? You're gonna get a bit of a headache trying to figure out which of the 100 little toggles do what.

Oxchat: I swear, this app just decimated my follow list. One moment I was a digital influencer, the next... well, I'm still trying to figure out who's following who. Apparently, the algorithms have a mind of their own and decided a few thousand people were... redundant.

Primal: Ugly as sin. It's like someone took a rusty pipe wrench and made it into a UI. Maybe there's some hidden brilliance in the code, but I'd rather stare at a blank wall.

Amethyst: Too talkative. It's like having a hyperactive parrot perched on your shoulder, chirping about every single interaction. And the top-level interface? It's a tangled mess of threads, a digital jungle. Lost my way navigating it. I just want to read my notes.

Iris & Snort: Let's just say I've moved on. These are the ghosts of Nostr clients past. Or maybe they're still haunting my notifications. Don't ask.

Rabbit/Lume/Other Clunkers: They're out there. Like the lingering smell of burnt toast in a digital world. Side-by-side interfaces are the digital equivalent of... well, let's just say I'd prefer a good cup of tea to figure out what I'm doing.

In short, choose wisely, my friends. Nostr clients are like... well, they're Nostr clients. It's all good, though. Someone is making something. Eventually. I hope. Right?