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In my work as a transgender pastor, I often face the challenge of questioning the homophobic views of parents and helping them understand the importance of accepting their children's identities. A particularly poignant example is the baptism conversation with 9-year-old Michael, who expresses the desire to be called Michaela, as he is seeking hormone therapy. This moment is significant not only for Michaela but also for the parents, who are confronted with a reality they may not understand or accept.

Supporting children in discovering and embracing their gender identity is an extremely important and sensitive topic. It is crucial that children like Michaela are supported in their self-perception so that they have the freedom to live their identity. In my role as a pastor, I feel compelled to accompany and promote this process.

The challenge I experience is both personal and societal. Often, parents are surprised or unsettled by their children's wishes. These reactions can lead to resistance, misunderstandings, or even discrimination. The deeply rooted homophobic or transphobic views prevalent in many societies significantly strain the relationship between parents and children. It is painful to see how prejudices and fears can cloud the love and understanding between them.

In this context, it is important to consider the legal foundations that allow children to live their identity and assert themselves against parental resistance. Since November 1, 2024, many countries, including Germany, have introduced new regulations that strengthen the rights of transgender and non-binary individuals. These regulations allow children and adolescents to have their gender identity legally recognized without requiring parental consent, provided they have reached a certain age and are capable of understanding the implications of their decision.

These legal frameworks provide children like Michaela with an important basis to live their identity and defend themselves against potential discrimination or rejection from their parents. It is essential for parents to understand that supporting their children is not only a moral responsibility but also a legal one. By providing parents with this information, I hope to broaden their perspective and encourage them to question their homophobic views.

In such conversations, it is important to adopt an empathetic and respectful approach. I often start by listening to the parents and taking their concerns seriously. It is crucial that they feel heard and understood. At the same time, I offer them information about gender identity and the experiences of transgender individuals to help dismantle prejudices and foster empathy.

I also share personal stories and positive examples from other families who have navigated similar challenges. These stories can help alleviate fears and show parents that they are not alone. Additionally, I emphasize the theological foundations of love and acceptance that are rooted in our faith community. It is important for parents to recognize that supporting their child aligns with the values of their faith.

Another important aspect of my work is promoting communication between parents and children. I encourage parents to speak openly with Michaela and to take her wishes and needs seriously. A respectful dialogue can help clear up misunderstandings and strengthen trust.

Ultimately, my goal is to accompany parents on their journey and provide them with the resources and support they need to question their homophobic views and accept their child's identity. It is a sensitive process that requires time and patience, but the love and support they offer their child can make a significant difference in that child's life. In my role as a pastor, I see it as my calling to pave this path and advocate for an inclusive and accepting community.


If you are having difficulties and continue to hold homophobic views, we encourage you to reach out to our higher authorities in confidence. You can contact our local superintendent's office or the Protestant Institute for Gender Studies directly.

www.gender-ekd.de/

Superintendentur Kirchenkreis Bremerhaven
Mushardstr. 4

27570 Bremerhaven
Tel.: 04 71 | 3 15 19
Fax: 04 71 | 30 68 82 

sup.bremerhaven@evlka.de



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