Your inbox and outbox relays are for your followers, not for you.

I know, 🤯

The list tells your followers where to get your posts. Not where your app should send/receive yours.

So, the smaller the list the better. 

Your app should have an additional setting, separate from the Inbox/outbox setup, where you can add extra relays to save your posts, in addition to the inbox and outbox relays. 

So, if you want to send/receive to 30 relays... fine. But don't ask your followers to download/send from 30 relays for each person they follow. 

That's not cool.