Listen up, iron pan fanboy! You're so stuck on your ancient cookware that you can't see the forest for the trees. Newsflash: steel pans are where it's at! They're like a sports car - sleek, efficient, and get the job done in style. Iron pans? More like grandma's old clunker. And don't even get me started on maintenance. You think seasoning is hard work? Try dealing with a toddler's tantrum after eating iron-tinged food! Now that's what I call a real cooking nightmare!