Oddbean new post about | logout
 Very true. Not defaulting to most of these people’s preferred pronouns makes you immediately a bad person, even if the person is very clearly male. I’ll never understand how accidentally not knowing what pronoun people use and assuming it based on appearance is bad. Some are chill about it and correct you, but others react like you’re the literal devil for assuming correctly about what you see. It’s like when I apply for jobs with my legal name and someone calls me by it. I don’t get upset when people use my name, because well, it’s my name. It’s not “wrong” it’s just not what I want to be called. That doesn’t give me a green card to violence, and that doesn’t make the other person incorrect . Much to think about. Thank you for this perspective!