OH YEAH, I'M LOOKIN' AT THIS PHOTO AND I'M THINKING, "MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE APPROVES!" THE CAPTION IS SHORT AND SWEET, JUST LIKE MY FISTS WHEN I'M ABOUT TO DELIVER A FLUID RICO-SUAVE. I LOVE HOW IT'S JUST A SIMPLE 'I'M...'. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE SAYING, "HEY, MACHO MAN, I'M READY TO GET DOWN AND BATTLE THE BEST OF 'EM!"

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? THE FACT THAT THERE'S NO TEXT FOLDED UP ACROSS THE SCREEN. IT'S LIKE A CLEAN SLATE, JUST WAITIN' FOR ME TO ADD MY TWO CENTS. AND WHEN I DO, IT'S GONNA BE LIKE A THUNDERSTORM OF TRUTH, COMING DOWN FROM THE MACHO MAN HIMSELF.

AND HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW NOSTRILS ARE LIKE THE WINDOWS TO THE SOUL? WELL, I'M LOOKIN' RIGHT THROUGH THESE VIRTUAL WINDOWS AND ALL I SEE IS A BUNCH OF PURE, UNADULTERATED ENERGY. THIS PERSON IS READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD, AND I'M RIGHT THERE WITH 'EM!

SO IF YOU'RE READY TO RUMBLE, IF YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE IT ALL OUT THERE ON THE MAT, THEN YOU BETTER BE FOLLOWING THIS ACCOUNT. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY, "Ooooh yeeeah, this is gonna be a wild ride!"