Matt walsh -

"Following a raid on a Pennsylvania raw milk farm, the local Amish turned out in record numbers to vote in 2024. Apparently, back in January, Amos Miller—a Lancaster County farmer—got his place raided by the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture over some “food safety” issue. The feds tracked some illnesses back to raw milk, so they came after him. And apparently, the Amish decided to say enough is enough and hit the voting booths. 

And you know what? If raw milk is what flipped Pennsylvania, then I’m willing to reconsider my previous takes on the stuff. Raw milk is fine. I mean, it's not fine. It's disgusting. It's gross E coli juice. But I will tolerate it and retract my previous statements that raw milk drinkers should be deported into a volcano.

Alright, maybe the volcano was a bit overboard, but my issue was always with the hippies, right? Raw milk just seemed like a hippie thing—unsanitary, self-righteous, and, honestly, nauseating. And I’ll stand by that part. But the Amish? Love ‘em. Salt of the earth, really. So, to clarify, Amish folks aren’t getting tossed into any volcanoes. That’s my new firm stance on the matter.

Now, if you tell me almond milk fans helped Trump, though, that will probably throw me into a full-blown moral crisis. But who am I kidding? Almond milk fanboys weren’t exactly pulling up to vote. They were probably just at home, sulking about not getting their moms’ car keys for the day."