I'm really not currently concerned about custodial vs non-custodial for lightning wallets and other layer 2 tech. The benefit is in the fact that we can choose the services we use based on their reputation on the open market.

Eventually I believe most people won't keep more than 5% of their stacks in custodial services. 95%+ will be in cold storage that rarely moves. If we don't like a custodian then move the coins to a different one, and people in general will learn not to do business with custodians with a poor track record.

Custodianship isn't inherently evil, it's just that until Bitcoin we had no way to keep custodians in check by maintaining self custody of the majority of our wealth as it was just too costly (such as with gold, needing expensive security) and inconvenient.

The beauty is that these technologies are still being developed and all these issues will be solved with different techniques, such as was recently proven possible on the main chain with silent payments.

Until that time Monero does fill a need for truly private transactions on the main chain, but BTC is still the superior store of value and as more BIP are developed Monero will likely become obsolete.