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 What makes a good relay, from the perspective of the average user?

Don’t most people just add a bunch of free random relays for redundancy, and everything just kind of works? 
 A reliable service that doesn't randomly delete your posts or your zaps, etc.

Yeah, most people just put a bunch of relays and it works for a while until everything starts disappearing and they realize their posts were never there in the first place and half of their relay are not even accepting the types of events they are sending...

Not paying attention to reliable relay lists is a terrible idea. 
 I do not even know how to check which relays rejected my notes. Is this easy to see on #amethyst? 
 Does deletion of zaps imply a loss of funds? nostr:nprofile1qqsyvrp9u6p0mfur9dfdru3d853tx9mdjuhkphxuxgfwmryja7zsvhqpz4mhxue69uhk2er9dchxummnw3ezumrpdejqzrmhwden5te0dehhxarj9ekk7mgpzemhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuurjd9kkzmpwdejhgqf7waehxw309ahx7um5wgkh2ump9e4kzvt8vfjk7cfjx93xumfww4ej6am9wd6z6v3wvdejuctdv9ax7mnvd9nksarnv95kctnrdaks46yh9u 
 Only if they are ecash zaps.  
 Scary (in that particular case)